Friday, November 10, 2017

The Princess and the Frog

Once upon a time there was a princess. She was everything that a princess should be. She was smart, and kind, and witty, and good-at-mathematics, and had impeccable table manners. She lived with her mommy and daddy, who were the King and Queen, in a great castle, with a moat filled with alligators, a courtyard with a burbling fountain, and lots of beautiful tapestries hanging on the walls.

Now one day the princess was out walking in the forest by the castle when she came to a pond. At the edge of the pond were some water lilies, and on one of the water lilies sat a small green frog.

The frog looked at the princess. The princess looked at the frog. “Ribbit,” said the frog.

“Oh look, a frog,” said the princess. “I wonder if it’s an enchanted prince.”

“Ribbit,” said the frog.

“Well there’s one way to find out,” said the princess. She picked up the frog and, holding it in the palm of her hand, she kissed it gently between its two bulging eyes.

The frog looked at the princess. The frog said “Ribbit”.

The princess felt a little disappointed, for it was, it seemed, a perfectly ordinary frog. “Oh well,” said the princess, “at least you’re a nice frog”. She put it into her pocket (princesses always have pockets), and headed home to the castle for dinner.

Now dinner in the castle was always served with a cloche over the dinner plates. A cloche is a big dome with a handle on the top, which waiters can remove with a flourish to reveal what’s for dinner. So, every night, the servants would place the dinner plates in front of the King, the Queen and the Princess, and off would come the cloches all at the same time.

“Sausages and mashed potatoes for dinner!” the King would say.

“Fried chicken and collard greens for dinner!” the Queen would say.

“Mac and cheese for dinner!” the Princess would say.

But this evening, as she headed down to dinner, the Princess had a frog in her pocket. Just as she was sitting down at the Royal Table, the frog hopped out of her pocket, across the floor of the grand room, and into the kitchens. The cook had just finished plating the dinners, was covering them with cloches when the frog hopped onto one of the plates. The cook wasn’t paying attention and did not see the frog.

And so the Royal Diners were served, and with grand flourishes the servers placed the dinner plates in front of the King, the Queen and the Princess, and removed the cloches.

“Mac and cheese for dinner!” said the Princess.

“Fried chicken and collard greens for dinner!” said the Queen.

“Sausages and mashed potatoes and a frog!” said the King.

Everyone turned to stare at the King’s dinner.

Just then a fly, which had been buzzing around the chandeliers flew down and landed on the King’s nose. Now the king hated flies more than almost anything in the world (except perhaps collard greens). He loathed them. The made him want to scream and cry and throw a tantrum, which is not acceptable behavior for a king.

In the blink of an eye the frog’s long tongue shot out, stuck to the fly, and returned to the frogs mouth. Sluerp.

The frog munched and swallowed.

The frog looked at the King. The King looked at the frog. “Ribbit?” said the frog.

The King rose to his feet. “I hereby appoint you the Royal Catcher Of Flies,” he said in a solemn voice, and he gently tapped the frog on both its shoulders and the top of it’s head with his butter knife.

And so the frog came to live in the castle. And a special lily pad was made for it right next the the royal fountain. And, whenever a fly came and bothered the king he would have his servants go and fetch the frog at once.

It was a happy life for a frog.